Vampires Suck

Aight, so I was watching "Scrubs" (with my very dear friend from out o' town and up the hill Duncan) (As I am the previously mentioned very dear friend from out o' town and up the hill, I can verify this fact -Duncan) earlier today and though I usually fast forward through the commercials (thank GOD for recorded television!!!), one commercial caught my eye... It was for a new movie coming out entitled "Vampires Suck" (If the producers happen to read this blog by some random and freak accident, we do accept checks for product placement. Please fill it out to Mr. Spencer Pruett and Mr. Duncan Wolf) (Cash or Gold Bricks are preferred). This movie appears to be a spoof of "Twilight" (And about time they did too. I mean, honestly, no ones ever thought of this before?! What kind of society do we live in today? Geez... I knew I should've moved to Europe where they respect the fear inducing vampires and werewolves enough to make them haunt the dreams of every little Hansel and Gretel in their little candy cottages. Honestly, how is glittery skin supposed to spark fear in the hearts of full grown men? These so called "vampires" of Twilight are little more than metrosexual pathetic rejects from Hairspray- The Musical. But I ramble... -Duncan) the "novel" that is a stain upon every bookstore shelf that has ever had the misfortune of bearing its burden. As to every jackwagon in the world who "reveled in it's literary mastery" ( I believe Spencer meant that to be a scathingly sarcastic remark - Duncan) needs to pick up a real book (Hell, even Winnie the Pooh books would suffice to be at a higher literary level than this p.o.s.) and realize that Vampires are not supposed to sparkle!!!! I digress... I thank the writers, producers, cast, crew, the lunchtime caterers, heck, even the lowly interns grabbing the janitors coffee of "Vampires Suck" wholeheartedly. You deserve a medal for finally breaking through the ranks of brainwashed housewives and "love" stricken teenage girls to produce this masterpeice of mockery. For your bravery in the face of possibly never getting a date again, we thank you. This war in which you have so courageously taken the offensive is not between the Ranks of "Team Jacob" or "Team Edward" No, this war is fought between the forces of Good and Evil. Aye, Evil I say. And for finally taking the fight to their diamond faces, we salute you.
-written by Spencer and Duncan
P.S. that last rant was by Duncan, in fact most of the rants were written by Duncan
P.P.S. Aye, this is true, but mine be a righteous anger. - Duncan

Here's the trailer! It's Hilarious!